The Makings of a Man

As I have gotten older, I have realized the importance of religion. While in undergrad, I was exposed to a variety of other beliefs that I never knew existed. I mean you have Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, atheists, etc. However, one thing that really baffles me is that with all these discrepancies in religions, people still have a hard time admitting that they made an honest mistake.

Admitting that you are not perfect should be a requirement in everyone's life. Perhaps I'm preaching to the choir, but I cannot recall anyone walking this planet as "perfect." As I type this, I think back on some of the mistakes I have made in my life. In particular, during my younger days, I used to think that everything would fall right into place in my life. Boy was I wrong.

Oh my goodness, he's got to be the sickest man in western New York

What intrigued me last night while I was watching SportsCenter was the audacity that one player had to say over a mistake he made. Buffalo Bills wide receiver, Steve Johnson, dropped a potential game-winning touchdown pass in overtime of a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers went on to win the game by a field goal.

Johnson was obviously upset after the drop as well as after the game. He had the audacity to blame God for his mistake. Just when I think I've heard (or in this case read) it all, something is bound to prove otherwise. I'm used to hearing people thanking God after a personal achievement, but to blame Him after a loss? That's absurd. I may be wrong, but I'm not real sure that God is overly concerned with sporting events or played any role in Johnson taking his eyes off the ball. I guess Johnson lives in a consequence-free world where all errors can be blamed on a supreme being. That's like me blaming God for allowing me to fail an accounting test; utter and complete foolishness.

I remember in undergrad actually having to convince some of my female friends the club wasn’t a good place to look for a potentional boyfriend. To me, I was shocked that I had to actually argue this point. I thought it was clear to everyone that the club was for finding one night stands, jumpoffs, and bucket heads … not Ms. (or Mr.) Right.

Why is the club tailored to those looking for temporary love? What is it about the club that is poisonous to the creation of true love? Why is any relationship formed in the club almost always doomed to fail? Simply put, the "club mentality."

I can’t speak for everyone, every club, everywhere, but generally speaking, the club is the definition of  “the frenzy." There is a lot of liquor involved, it’s an environment solely focused on social interactions between men and women. The music is too loud for conversation. Lights are dim and vision is blurred. It’s one of the few places you can walk behind a female, start grind on her butt without permission, and not be arrested or cut.

The rules, laws, and social norms that are upheld on “the outside”  simply don’t apply here. Its a different world.

A lot of guys go to the club to take a girl home with them that night and disposed of right after. They are often the most aggressive as well. In addition, as a guy, you know more “club” females are going to be open to conversation as opposed to the “real world” females … so you don’t have to worry about “bothering” someone. While physically abusing a girl is still just as wrong, all those overly aggressive moves you had to retire are now allowed and expected. Also, for some reason, a fight is now a possibility. While at work you are calm, on the road you let people pass you, but in the club … let someone scuff your sneakers or spill your drink … then you have a misunderstanding!

Ladies, you know that someone is going to disrespect you. Your butt will be grabbed, someone is going to pull your arm and not want to let go, and somebody is going to be just a little too aggressive about getting your number. A guy is going to come up to you and start “dancing”...which is closer to sex than anything else, but for some reason … tonight its okay. And while you are open to conversation from any cute guy who is “acting right” … you also prepared a set of statements for those “showing their ass”.

In both cases, you're not thinking or acting logically. You're not the same person that you are at work, or in the grocery store, or while walking down the street. For some, the thought of sleeping with someone you have known for less than 24 hours suddenly seems more appealing to you. However once that liquid courage (alcohol) gets in the system … a mild-mannered guy suddenly becomes "Mr. Pouring Champagne on and Chick in Sight" (SMDH), kicking girls away from the table while replacing them, all while threatening death on a bouncer.

Not only is the person you meet at the club not a valid representation of this person in real life, but its hard to take anyone as serious in the club. I’m thinking about different things, the standards your getting judged by are significantly different, and honestly … even if you meet Ms. Right …you still might do something stupid and probably will ruin something that could have been beautiful.

I will say, there are certain lounges, happy hours, and upscale restaraunts that can provide a relatively healthy meeting place for single individuals, but that isn’t the norm. Are you still looking for that special someone at the club? Is club you the same person at the 9 to 5? Can you even take someone you meet in the club serious?

I’m not going to waste a lot of time rehashing points that we all know to be true. There's a large number of Black women who dislike white women stealing their men. They don’t like it one bit. Black women have put in significant amounts of work towards supporting their men despite jail, drugs and unemployment. They don’t appreciate it when their men run off with the “oppressor.” Therefore, Black women think that Black men know this and instead of dating white women date Latinas and Asian women. But in summary, Black women believe that their men want the light skin, light eyes and the straight hair and that’s why they date Latinas.

I’m not going to lie to you, the Black male dating pool is thin. Many Black men are in fact in jail or in a life of crime. The number of “educated” Black women largely outnumbers the amount of “educated” Black men. Black women love them some brothers so they are aggressive and protective of their men. If there are six Black women for every one qualified Black male, then when half of those Black men are dating Latinas, there are now twelve Black women for every qualified Black male. Desperate times, call for desperate measures.

Racist Black women attack Latinas on everything. They attack them on, intellect, language, looks, and even how they treat their men. I’ve been told that Black men only date Latinas because they have an accent and don’t speak English well. I would be lying if I didn’t hear a man brag about that every now and then. But there is nothing that a Latina can do to change that. If a man finds her accent to be cute and that’s why he is with her, trust me, it will not last. Furthermore, we can spend hours discussing if people living in the United States whose first language is not English, would rather not speak English or would enjoy the opportunity to learn English better. I choose the latter.

Some Black women believe that Latinas get men because they have straight hair, lighter skin, or lighter eyes. That’s just ridiculous… Latinas come in every size, shape, color, and texture possible. However, and this is really important that we understand this point, we cannot, will not, condone the judgment or the characterization of people based solely on their looks. It’s dangerous territory for any Black person to be operating under those misconceptions. And so I’m going to have to raise a card on this one too and say that Black women are guilty of this one too.

Have you ever heard this? “Only a Black woman can love a Black man the way he needs to be loved. Because only a Black person knows what it means to be Black in this world.” Once again attacking someone’s intelligence, attacking someone’s ability to understand, and further separating people of color in America. I don’t like that claim one bit! My family taught me what it meant to be a Black man, and they also taught me how to stand on my own two feet and be Black man. I’m sorry I do not need my woman to help me, or teach me, or inform me, what being Black in this world is about.

The last thing I’m going to touch on is the belief that all Latinas want from Black men is money and sex. Well, we can take money out of the equation, because we make far less than some other races. Maybe more than Latin men, but certainly less than white or Asian Americans. The sex, Black sexuality is such a touchy subject. It’s offensive to Black men when you reduce a woman’s attraction to us to just sex. Black men don’t need Black women to tell them that some women outside of their race only wants them for sex. And it’s racist towards Latinas to accuse them of trying to make Black men into their Big Black Buck.

One of the things I always like to bring up is that Latinas aren’t approaching Black men. Black men are approaching Latinas. I think when a Black woman finds that her hate has been displaced on a Latina, she might want to look inside the organization first. No offense, but a person looks so silly when they’re defending someone who isn’t defending themselves… willing to fight for something that isn’t interested in fighting for themselves. Ladies let me tell you something, Latinas are not heroin or crack cocaine, you are not saving Black men from themselves by refusing to let them date Latinas. It’s just a woman; it’s who he might fall in love with, it’s who he might be attracted to, it’s who he might choose to marry. Stop coming up with racist reasons for why a Black man chooses to date a Latina, matter fact, stop worrying about Black men who have chosen to not date you. Worry about the Black men who want to date you, all others are irrelevant.

There used to be a time when people just didn’t mix. There used to be a time when every Latin person in America was called, “Mexican.” If you are from up north, you know that this used to lead to fights because the Puerto Ricans been around since West Side Story. But Black folks just called everyone, “Mexican.” My grandfather still does. Aside, isn’t it funny that someone will be like, “I’m 100% Puerto Rican” but be from B Brooklyn? I just think that’s so funny. Black folks used to have some ish that they could call their own. It was probably like one Latino in your neighborhood, maybe one. Think back in the day, I remember my elementary school and there was one latina.  She was Columbian. Black people used to have basketball, now Al Horford and Greivis Vasquez are rising to prominence. We used to have football, now Mark Sanchez is here. We had rap, but Daddy Yankee is the highest selling hip hop artist worldwide. Everybody listens to Daddy Yankee, “A ella le gusta la gasolina … da me mas gasolina!” And we used to have women, Halle Berry wasn’t pushed out, Eva Mendes and Rosario Dawson just showed appeared from virtually nowhere. Halle took her ball and went home. Last but certainly not least, Melyssa Ford and Angel Lola Luv have got to be pissed because Rosa Acosta and Suelyn Medeiros came in with hammers and demanded to be seen. It’s like my grandfather always said, “Here’s the difference between Black people and Latinos, Black people were brought here, Latinos…they came here.”Or as George Lopez said, so eloquently, “We ain't going no...wheres!”

Anyway, it’s Hispanic Heritage Month and in true Latin form, they didn’t take a month, they decided to just carve it out where they wanted it. September 15th to October 15th, not September, not October, they made sure to get three paychecks in there.

Now, Black women may have an issue when a Latina walks in the room. In college, they used to call them, “Mira miras.” I always used to laugh about this, but as one Black female said, “They have their salsa and merengue, why don’t they stay the [expletive] over there?!” Because we all know where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And if you thought white girls walking in a party was a neck breaker, look at all the brothers when Latinas walk in the party. I'm going to come back to this in a few days.

Let’s Talk about music for a second...
We had Jimi Hendrix, they brought Carlos Santana. Let the record show, you know how we have Boys II Men, Aventura gets the party popping. Try some Aventura at your next house party and see if it don’t change your life. And don’t forget about that Fat Joe problem we had a few years back. I'm sorry but you can not  try to front like you wasn’t leaning back in the club. But that’s not the dude … the dude is Daddy Yankee. Daddy Yankee gets  an abundance of garden tools and female dogs. There are so many women who love that dude and he’s married! But anyway, reggaeton tore up the charts, we were in the club doing that same dumb reggaeton dance to Rompe, Gasolina and whatever else they could throw on.


Let’s Talk about partying for a minute …
Thank God for the Mexicans! Black people who don’t thank God for the Mexicans have no couth with themselves. Back in the day, we was perfectly fine to have our Colt 45, gin and juice, and the ladies had a little Mystic at the BBQ. A few years later, we was drinking Henny, (Remy as a substitute), and women were throwing back glasses of Moet and wondering why they were pissy drunk. The whole time this was going on, many were smoking weed. Someone is going to argue this with me, and I’m not going to argue back for some private reasons, but trust me, over 85% of the drugs entering the United States come through Mexico. If it wasn’t for the Mexicans there would not be such high volumes of weed.

But no really, thank God for the Mexicans, answer this question; If you really want to get the club popping what do you take shots of? PATRON!!! Patron has changed the game completely. Patron has ecstasy in it too. All this to say, once again let’s toast … actually no, let’s take shots to Hispanic Heritage Month.

I was talking to a female-friend about the context of this very blog and she had some interesting input from the female perspective. I’ll share two things she said that I feel encompass the overall issue:

“We women can find optimism in the direst of circumstances. We’d rather settle for scraps and be in a relationship instead of finding what we deserve.”

“She isn’t going anywhere. So what incentive does he have to be greater when his minimum will yield the same result?”

I don’t know about the first quote personally, because I’m not a woman. I just thought it was interesting. The latter, however, is very true.

I’ll be the first to admit that men put women though a lot of shit. Yet, 9 times out of 10 it’s because you let us. True story.

I mean you can’t get upset with a man for never committing when he knows you aren’t going anywhere regardless of if he commits or not. Generally men commit for two reasons: 1) They think they can’t do better and/or 2) They think they might lose you.

Therefore, using the often underused philosophy of common sense, if he 1) thinks he can do better and/or 2) thinks/knows you won’t leave him, chances are he will never commit to you. And yes, most dudes are deathly afraid of commitment, but if you can’t inspire him to overcome that fear then you are not the one for him or he is not the one for you. Period.

If you think you’re going to ‘wait a man into commitment’ it is far more likely that you will be waiting forever – and in vain. Here’s why…

Men will date a woman out of convenience with no plans to ever go beyond that phase with that woman. Now, if you’re content with being a woman of convenience, then more power to you – but if you want a commitment from that dude, you got a problem.

If you’re giving a man sex, affection, love, etc.  – essentially giving away the milk, the cow and the whole damn farm for free then he will date you, excuse me while I quote from The Sandlot here: “For-ever, For-ever, For-ever, For-ever” without any thought or plan to commit to you, let alone marry you. In fact, it is quite possible that when he is ready for that type of relationship it will not be with you.

Ladies, I know you might believe he loves you and maybe he does, but love and commitment are not mutually exclusive. So let me state this frankly: a man can love you without planning to marry you. If you’re content with that, great! But if you want more than a stated “I Love You,” cuddling, time spent together, sex and midnight love dedications on the radio, then at some point you’re going to have to speak up.

I’m not a fan of ultimatums but I will admit they get results because the outcome is clearly defined. Do X by Y-time or Z will happen. The problem is when it comes to dating most people don’t firmly commit to Z when X and Y fail to happen.

That’s why you should never – and for emphasis let me repeat that – never, tell a man you’re going to leave him and then don’t leave (or leave and comeback). This tells us we can get away with everything just shy of placing a Chuck Norris-style roundhouse kick to your mother’s medulla oblongata and you aren’t going anywhere. There is nothing more dangerous than a man who realizes he can tell you the truth without repercussion. Example: “I will never marry you.” After you have told him that you want to get married.

Basically if you ever plan on being someone’s partner – girlfriend, wife, or other – say what you mean and mean what you say  and then follow through if you want a clear commitment sometime before a quarter to never. Otherwise the only person you can really blame is the woman in the mirror, but if you disagree and it makes you feel better and sleep easier at night then feel free to blame everyone else but yourself because we can all see how effective that’s been…

--Class Dismissed

I want your opinion on this. This is a true story I am not making anything up, so lets get started:

This young lady is named Tierra. She is a “Web Model” (no porn, but nudity). She has a website: http://club-tierra.com/. Pretty young lady, not knowing her personality, but just basing off her looks I don’t think too many guys would not try to talk to her. With that being said there are millions of young ladies like her walking around. Nothing that special about her.

A friend told me he knew a guy that was buying her a gift for Christmas. Not because they were friends (in fact he has never met her), but because she asked on her website. Surprisingly, I wasn’t shocked by this, but decided to take a look for myself to see what she was asking for. Here is word for word her “wish list” as she describes it:

Any of you who know me well enough know I love getting gifts and being spoiled! Every day when I get something in the mail it’s like Christmas all over again! Most clothing and lingerie on my wish list usually ends up in photos and videos. So if you want to see me in something sexy handpicked by you, visit my Amazon wish list. Sending me gifts is pretty much like saying “I love you!” My favorite colors are gray, black purple and of course pink. I enjoy expensive and big gifts but I am absolutely addicted to lingerie and shoes. I must have over 200+ pairs of heels and I love love love shopping sprees! Below is a link to my wish list with over 1150+ items purchased and growing, as well as some of my favorite stores to shop at that you can send me gift cards to.

Email Gift cards

Email Gift cards to Tierra@club-tierra.com.

Amazon

Macys

Victoria’s Secret

Gift Cards by Mail. Send all these types of cards to my mailing address which is posted at the bottom of this page. 

HELP BUILD MY HOUSE!!

At the young age of 21 I am already building a castle! Gift Cards in any amount will help me out!

Home Depot
Lowes

Buy my Groceries!
Albertsons
Pear Kroger
Safeway

  

The above cards and concealed cash and fan mail can be mailed to:

Tierra Marie
19030 Lenton Pl. S.E. No.228
Monroe, WA 98272

Send Me Cash Directly! There is no doubt about it; every woman loves cold hard green cash! I can get whatever I want with it. Here are a few methods I use for receiving cash gifts. If you have one you would like to use contact me! I have plenty more secret methods that are available upon request

Amazon Honor Pay
Alertpay.com

Send payments to Tierra@club-tierra.com. Check out some of the gifts I have already received from all my fan boys and subs!

Send all gift certificates to – tierra@club-tierra.com. Spoil me through Night Flirts!

• Diamond Rings
• Sony Playstation 3
• Mac Book
• Shoes
• Clothes
• Watches
• Purses
• Vacation packages 
• Cash
• And much much more.

So I did some investigation and the model in question apparently has a boyfriend and these gifts are giving just off the strength of some “internet foreplay” and in some cases just because she asked.