The Makings of a Man

Your entire outfit has been carefully selected and is ready for showcase. Your shoes are polished, the pants are pressed, and your crisp dress shirt awaits you. You slide into your outfit and give yourself a once over in the mirror, but something is not quite right. Your dress shirt is not cooperating. You feel like you are being asphyxiated by your dress collar. Your sleeves bear an uncanny likeness to the great Pee Wee Herman. Gentlemen, you are not alone. Not all men wear dress shirts on a regular basis, so some have absolutely no idea what those numbers mean in the inside of their dress shirt collar. I'll explain those mysterious numbers that read 17 36/37.

The number above is actually my own dress shirt size. The first number represents my neck size and the second set of numbers represent my sleeve length. Both numbers are in inches. Some men remember a long lost number from high school and proceed to take an educated guess from there. If the gentleman has either gained or loss weight through the years; it is in his best interest to have the proper measurements taken by a professional salesperson. This could be what stands between you looking like you stumbled into your big/little brother's closet and looking like a true gentleman.

• Take into consideration that dress shirts may shrink after several washings. Allow final sizing to make up for possible shrinkage.
• You should be able to fit 1-2 fingers comfortably between your collar and neck.
• Sleeves should reach the base of the thumb and cover entire wrist. Your sleeve shouldn't retract when bending your elbow.

I love natural hair!!!

I tend to think that I’m a simple man. I don’t ask for or look for too much when it comes to the appearance of women. Like most of you, I just want to date someone who I find attractive and avoid drama and tomfoolery. Granted, that’s not something you can get a feel for by just looking at someone most of the time (emphasis on most). Right now, I want to discuss something that I notice right away and something that I always hear women critique each other about with no remorse. I want to discuss hair. I’m not talking about a bushy bush, chest hair, or armpit furr. I’m talking about what grows on the head. Buttcheeks and breasts are nice, but the hair does say a lot about the woman.

My history says that I’m man that likes nice long hair. I have been infatuated by Latina and Asian women with the longer and sleeker hairs ever encountered by man. However, within the last four years, I’ve recently developed an affinity for the short hair look on a woman, which is something that I used to frown upon. I used to see a chick with short hair and automatically assume they were on the "Uber Africa" or "Uber Strong Black Woman" tip. Or…they may be lesbian. As I evolved, this immature and juvenile thought process changed. I no longer give that screw face (not the good kind) when I see the short cut.

Short hair, to me, exudes a whole different level of confidence. It also requires a completely different type of maintenance. It gives me one less thing to tug on, and perhaps that’s for the better in the heat of the moment when I’m in beast mode. That aside, I can dig a woman who goes to the barber every week to two weeks to keep the edge clean. This isn’t to say that a woman who goes to the barber or beautician less than this is a hot ghetto mess. Some women just have it like that where their hair does whatever they tell it to do without much effort or thought.

Nowadays natural hair, whether shorter, medium length, or longer, is a winner. I’m not necessarily talkin’ about Afros with a Black Power fist or Rage. I’m talkin’ about women who when I see them, I can appreciate what they do with their hair without doing too much. Interpret that however you may. I can also say the same thing when I see a woman with nice long flowing and shiny hair that bounces with each step that she takes. I can also say that I think the bouncy hair thing is overrated. Regardless, I just have a much greater appreciation for the diversity of hair styles and lengths. I just can’t stress enough how much the hair can say about the person.

Most of us are also at a point where our jobs and our quests for status dictate how we manage our appearance. I know there are law firms and other professional environments (sales is another occupational example) where women will not get the job or be favorably looked upon if they do not keep their hair long, bouncy, and shiny. It’s a factor for discrimination whether folks are aware of it or not. I’m willing to bet that there are less sexual harassment cases out there where women with short and natural hair are filing the complaints. And lastly, it’s a factor for female competitive criticism even though that’s a beast for a different day.

So for right now, I’m wondering what the women who visit this site do with their hair on the regular? What’s your look? I’m also wonderin’ what you think when you see another woman’s hair in public and how that shapes your assumptions or thoughts about the person. Should some women stay away from certain hair styles? For the men, how much emphasis do you place on a woman’s hair? Is it a big deal for you or is it whatever? Let’s discuss. Our lives depend on it!
Oh snap...I see dem waves girl,

Class Dismissed

Allen Edmonds Passenger, original retail $230.00

If the gentleman is in the market for a nice pair of casual open lace oxfords, I would like to alert you to the pair above. Originally retailing for $230.00, Sierra Trading Post is now offering this handsome pair of Allen Edmonds for $148.95. My own experience with Allen Edmonds has been a positive one. Expertly crafted, Allen Edmonds offers a great affordable shoe that will last you a lifetime. During that lifetime, they even offer a recrafting service that promises to restore any AE brand to near new condition. If you are looking for a shoe that will take you from casual Fridays through the weekend, the AE Passenger just may be the shoe for you. For more detailed information, please click HERE to access the Sierra Trading Post site. For recrafting information please click HERE to access the Allen Edmonds site.

Wright as Dominican Drug Lord Peoples Hernandez in "Shaft"

You’ve seen him, but you haven’t really seen him. You vaguely know the face, but you can’t quite place the name. You are certain you have seen him in Shaft, The Manchurian Candidate, Syriana, and Casino Royale. He has shared the big screen with cinematic heavyweights such as George Clooney, Al Pacino, Samuel Jackson, and Denzel Washington. From heroin addicted artist to civil rights leader, this distinguished gentleman has tackled both diverse and complex roles. Jeffrey Wright just may be the best actor that you have never heard of. Wright plays Jean-Michel Basquiat in “Basquiat” in the picture below.


Wright plays Jean-Michel Basquiat in “Basquiat”

With a bachelor’s degree in Political Science, Wright chose to forgo law school and try his hand at acting in both theater and cinema. What followed was a series of critically acclaimed performances where he portrayed gay nurse Norman Arriga in Angels in America, Martin Luther King, Jr. in Boycott, and Jean-Michel Basquiat in Basquiat.

Wright as Attorney Bennett Holiday in "Syriana"

Do you want a guaranteed way of ruining an otherwise great outfit? Try having a pair of wrinkled trousers on for size. Purchasing a quality steamer can be quite expensive and space heavy. The Gentlemen's Standard has a suggestion that will pay dividends and banish wrinkled pants from your wardrobe.

What you will need

• iron
• ironing board
• aluminum foil
• spray bottle
• white cloth

Remove the padding or cover that comes with the ironing board. Line the entire top surface of the ironing board with the aluminum foil. Place cover back on the ironing board. Your layers should now consist of cover, aluminum foil, and ironing board. Lay out your trousers and place white cloth on the area to be steamed. Turn your iron to the proper setting and fill your spray bottle with water. Spray the appropriate area and iron accordingly. The heat from the iron will create a steam that will be deflected off the aluminum foil and back into your pants; your wrinkles will be knocked right out. You will also have the added benefit of not putting direct heat on the pants itself and having water rust out your iron. You will find that your ironing has just got simpler and faster; a clean pair of freshly pressed pants is always fly.

dis·cre·tion  (d -skr sh n) n. 1. The quality of being discreet; circumspection. 2. Ability or power to decide responsibly. 3. Freedom to act or judge on one’s own: All the decisions were left to our discretion.

If you take a look around the internet, it seems as though individuals just do not about privacy. Twitter expose’s, Facebook status testimonials, and numerous other instances show that people have no more discretion left in this world. In a time where technological advances occur rapidly, we must remain cognizant of our personal information and “incriminating evidence” that can be easily accessible on the internet for an eternity. Thankfully, I will provide some guidelines to discretion for the modern era.

Any pictures or videos you send can and will be used against you

I couldn't stress this enough. While some guys revel in the artistic beauty of #TittyTuesdays and #ThongThursdays on Twitter, I could never understand how (or why) women would send those type of pictures and post them on the Internet. What’s worse is when you send these pictures to men that you know, making an improper judgement of their character. Next thing you know, that little precious intimate photo is the pride and joy of his entire crew!

Men, you aren’t any better. This new phenomenon of sending pictures of your penis to women… when did this start? When did this become the new hot trend on the street? Foolishness, let me tell you a secret: All her girlfriends have seen that picture, all of her gay friends have seen that picture, and all of her platonic male friends know that you “be sending your dick all on the net”! They especially clown if you’re packing a pea shooter bro. Not cool.

It’s even worse with these videos. Some people have blue movies shot of unsuspecting men and women everyday.  Candid camera is alive and well in 2010.  Ask Kat Stacks, it’s not that hard to shoot a video and incriminate an unsuspecting individual. We as a whole need to smarten up!

My Advice: If you MUST send these pictures, at least take your face out of them! That way you can deny anything that may trickle onto places not for your liking. If you post these pictures or videos of your own free will, don’t be mad when people you don’t want to see you in spread eagle ask about your trip to Mardi Gras.  I mean, let's ask Brett Favre about discretion. 

Text messages can be a recipe for disaster

In 2010, we are a bunch of text messaging, Blackberry Messaging, GChatting, Pinging, and emailing individuals. These short messages can carry conversations for hours as we look to multitask. Hell, many people don’t even like to talk on the phone anymore! With this convenient method of communication, we also have gotten lax and comfortable in the types of conversation.

People do dirt daily. Not everybody has a written record of said dirt. When you dudes looking to setup a rendezvous with your  side chick, or you ladies don’t want Ray Ray finding out about your one night with Leon that “you didn’t count because you didn’t cum”, you leave yourself vulnerable to the swindle. For people with smartphones, you can now screen capture, forward texts, send text conversations via email, save chats on the computer, or a host of other ways to keep information secure just in case you need to ether someone. How many stories have you heard about an email chain forward in an office that got someone fired? Let’s not forget the AIM Window Oops Factor (AWOF). The AWOF takes you to the day when an AIM window with a new message would pop-up while you were typing to someone else. Imagine typing a message to a female about how she rode you real crazy-like last night, only to have your girlfriend reply “Umm...what are you talking about?” Yeah, NOT the business. I’ve mistakenly texted wrong people (stories for another day) so I know about this pitfall all too well.

My Advice: Do what you do, but be smart! Show proper due diligence when sending text messages of any kind so you don’t have to yell oops.

Computer Etiquette

If I had a dollar for every story I heard about a woman catching a man cheating because he used her computer to chat with other women, or look at naked pictures, I’d be a multi millionaire. When will people learn that saving passwords, downloading pictures onto a computer, internet browsing history, and other aspects of computer use are as easy to conceal as they are to be discovered? I mean, I’ve heard stories of dudes leaving entire photo albums of other females on their wife's computer. Let that marinate for a second. There might not be any helping these people but I will try.

My Advice: Use your own computers…or just read a book. Well, reading a book just may be the best option.

I know I’m not the only one to notice these internet transgressions. You guys got any other examples or tips?

When it comes down to patterns, mixing different patterns can prove to be a daunting assignment. Some gentlemen view pattern mixing to be as complicated as Chinese arithmetic. I am here to inform the gentleman that it doesn't have to be. Patterns don't have to be so intimidating, when done correctly and properly; the end result can display an understated maverick elegance. Above, Jay-Z deftly juggles three patterns to comprise a smart and intelligent look.

Why This Works

The ensemble presented here consists of three patterns: stripe, polka dot, and glen plaid. Jay-Z wears a striped dress shirt with a striped tie. The key here when mixing similiar patterns is appropriate scale. Notice the stripes in his dress shirt is narrower than the stripes in his necktie. He uses his glen plaid sportcoat to frame the entire outfit and bring out the lavender in both shirt and necktie. The dress shirt stripes are also small enough, so it doesn't compete with the lines in the sportcoat. The cherry on the top would definitely be his purple polka dot handkerchief that pulls everything into balance. Dark enough to bring sharp contrast, but also small enough to disrupt the outfit. From the color and the pattern, this outfit is an absolute winner. Mixing patterns should be a talent that any gentleman that can employ to his benefit.

Class, I want to thank you for all your love and support regarding this blog. Your clicks, comments, emails, and tweets are greatly appreciated. On that note, I would like to expand my audience and provide my blogging talents to the Wordpress world. Please do not feel betrayed, I love Blogger and this blog will stay active and I will continue to redefine how men of color approach life and style. Thank you all and I love you all. In the meantime, please visit my Wordpress blog here. Bookmark it and enjoy.

Gentlemen, I highly endorse this.

I know what you are thinking. Why does Dr. Q have St. Ives Apricot Scrub on his blog? Isn’t that a product you would probably find in the women’s section of CVS or Walgreens? You are exactly right. As a matter of fact, during my undergrad years a roommate asked me if I ever tried exfoliating. My initial reaction was a simple….huh? Exfoliate, what the heck was that? He explained that it was a process that removed old dead skin cells on the skin’s outermost surface to reveal fresher skin cells underneath. It helped remove dirt, oil, and dead skin cells that can clog your pores, while giving your skin a healthy glow and radiance.

I must admit, after plenty of females (and one particular love interest at the time) have complented my skin, this is where my male-ego began to take control. I pictured myself, gently rubbing my skin with great care as I applied the exfoliants so my skin could feel new and refreshed. Thanks, but no thanks. This wasn’t exactly the manly ritual of shaving; you know taking a straight edge blade and raking it across your face drawing blood in the process. Men relish in the knowledge of our perceived high tolerance of pain and if drawing blood with a blade in our hand is confirmation, then so be it!! Yet, that girly looking tube in the bathroom cabinet had me curious.

I began to talk things over with my lady-friend about exfoliating. I mean, her skin was soft you know. So, one night she allowed me to try some of her facial exfoliating scrub. I could really see a difference in my complexion. When she confronted me about buying some of my own; I pinned the blame on a GQ magazine. Hey, if it’s in GQ; it must be cool…right?

My skin tone was no longer dull and rough. My skin was fresher, smoother, and softer. If any gentlemen are having a difficult time digesting this; I have the perfect alibi for purchasing some facial scrub. Exfoliation actually aids in better and smoother shaving (if you have excess facial hair). Your blade doesn’t have to cut through all that dirty debris to cut the hairs on your face. Less shaving time means less irritation. If you are a man of color who is prone to razor bumps; this can be very helpful. The gentleman should at least give it a chance, why be dull and dry. Exfoliating can be your little secret, plus you just gave your lady another reason to caress you.

Tips to Remember

• Exfoliate 1-2 times per week
• Never use body scrubs on the face because they are more abrasive
• Gentle exfoliants are available for delicate skin
• Use moisturizer afterwards to rehydrate the skin
• In a pinch? Baking soda and water can be used as an exfoliating paste that saves time & money

This pool blue is a fresh option for gentlemen braving the autumn elements.

Autumn in North Carolina. The temperature continues to fluctuate from week to week. The temperature may shift from the 50′s through the 70′s and back down to the 50′s. For those cool mornings, mild afternoons, and chilly evenings; the classic fit long sleeved polo would serve the gentleman well. Offered in 27 colors; this is regularly priced at $79.50. Right now, the gentlemen can purchase it for $34.99. This gentleman would definitely go with pool blue, mandarin, or puritan gold as his choice of colors to add to his wardrobe. For more detailed information please click here.

Paul Stuart Light Blue Paisley tie $118.50


I’ve been looking to jazz up my necktie collection for the spring season. At the top of my list is the paisley necktie. Fun and at the same time serious; the paisley can give a pop to an otherwise conservative look. Conversely, it can enhance an already vibrant and playful ensemble. Pictured are some looks that the gentleman may want to explore at his preferred place of shopping.  


Banana Republic Blue Paisley $39.99





Banana Republic Orange Paisley $59.50