The Makings of a Man

There used to be a time when people just didn’t mix. There used to be a time when every Latin person in America was called, “Mexican.” If you are from up north, you know that this used to lead to fights because the Puerto Ricans been around since West Side Story. But Black folks just called everyone, “Mexican.” My grandfather still does. Aside, isn’t it funny that someone will be like, “I’m 100% Puerto Rican” but be from B Brooklyn? I just think that’s so funny. Black folks used to have some ish that they could call their own. It was probably like one Latino in your neighborhood, maybe one. Think back in the day, I remember my elementary school and there was one latina.  She was Columbian. Black people used to have basketball, now Al Horford and Greivis Vasquez are rising to prominence. We used to have football, now Mark Sanchez is here. We had rap, but Daddy Yankee is the highest selling hip hop artist worldwide. Everybody listens to Daddy Yankee, “A ella le gusta la gasolina … da me mas gasolina!” And we used to have women, Halle Berry wasn’t pushed out, Eva Mendes and Rosario Dawson just showed appeared from virtually nowhere. Halle took her ball and went home. Last but certainly not least, Melyssa Ford and Angel Lola Luv have got to be pissed because Rosa Acosta and Suelyn Medeiros came in with hammers and demanded to be seen. It’s like my grandfather always said, “Here’s the difference between Black people and Latinos, Black people were brought here, Latinos…they came here.”Or as George Lopez said, so eloquently, “We ain't going no...wheres!”

Anyway, it’s Hispanic Heritage Month and in true Latin form, they didn’t take a month, they decided to just carve it out where they wanted it. September 15th to October 15th, not September, not October, they made sure to get three paychecks in there.

Now, Black women may have an issue when a Latina walks in the room. In college, they used to call them, “Mira miras.” I always used to laugh about this, but as one Black female said, “They have their salsa and merengue, why don’t they stay the [expletive] over there?!” Because we all know where there’s smoke, there’s fire. And if you thought white girls walking in a party was a neck breaker, look at all the brothers when Latinas walk in the party. I'm going to come back to this in a few days.

Let’s Talk about music for a second...
We had Jimi Hendrix, they brought Carlos Santana. Let the record show, you know how we have Boys II Men, Aventura gets the party popping. Try some Aventura at your next house party and see if it don’t change your life. And don’t forget about that Fat Joe problem we had a few years back. I'm sorry but you can not  try to front like you wasn’t leaning back in the club. But that’s not the dude … the dude is Daddy Yankee. Daddy Yankee gets  an abundance of garden tools and female dogs. There are so many women who love that dude and he’s married! But anyway, reggaeton tore up the charts, we were in the club doing that same dumb reggaeton dance to Rompe, Gasolina and whatever else they could throw on.


Let’s Talk about partying for a minute …
Thank God for the Mexicans! Black people who don’t thank God for the Mexicans have no couth with themselves. Back in the day, we was perfectly fine to have our Colt 45, gin and juice, and the ladies had a little Mystic at the BBQ. A few years later, we was drinking Henny, (Remy as a substitute), and women were throwing back glasses of Moet and wondering why they were pissy drunk. The whole time this was going on, many were smoking weed. Someone is going to argue this with me, and I’m not going to argue back for some private reasons, but trust me, over 85% of the drugs entering the United States come through Mexico. If it wasn’t for the Mexicans there would not be such high volumes of weed.

But no really, thank God for the Mexicans, answer this question; If you really want to get the club popping what do you take shots of? PATRON!!! Patron has changed the game completely. Patron has ecstasy in it too. All this to say, once again let’s toast … actually no, let’s take shots to Hispanic Heritage Month.

Have you ever noticed that when the bell rings for recess every kid sprints to play on their favorite playground equipment? One kid goes to his locker and pulls out his brand new basketball. When he walks on the playground, every one of his classmates gravitates towards him and his new basketball. It’s almost like they forgot about the kickball or the monkey bars, and the slide is now a thing of the past, it’s time to play basketball.

Ever get the feeling that Black men are the same way with Latinas? They seem to drop Black women like an old kickball and move onto the new shiny thing they see. I think the short answer to the question, are Black men obsessed with Latinas is, yes. Speaking of myself personally, I don’t think I am. I find all types of women attractive. I’ve dated women from different parts of the world. I’ve personally said to my friends, “I really don’t think Black women like me.” I believe that people typically will date the people in their environment. And unless you want to toss it up every weekend, you're dating pool is Black women, Latinas, a couple of white women, and an occasional Asian chick.

I think that some Black men are obsessed with Latinas though. I think stereotypes about long (real) hair, and lighter skin do exist. People believe that having kids with Latinas will produce better looking kids. However, this surely goes both ways. I think that most men who are obsessed with Latinas for their looks will soon find out that they come in so many different forms, you’re likely to find that Latinas look just like Black women. I remember as a child I would just get so tickled at, “it was dry and straight, now it’s wet and curly!” I still find this amusing today over 20 years later. Nonetheless, it’s still a dumb reason to be obsessed with Latinas not all of them have curly hair.

I think that some Black men are obsessed with Latinas because of the language. Some people find Spanish, Italian or Portuguese to be romantic languages. But, this has nothing to do with Latinas, I think it’s just that it’s in a different language. If you were dating a girl who spoke Mandarin Chinese and she just went into a rant during coital activities, you would get turned on. I am not sure of the fascination with someone who has an accent, it can be sexy, but I think communication is important to me, it’s more important that I understand what you’re talking about. I’ve never been one to say, “Oh that’s so cute you can’t say 'museum'.” That just seems stupid to me.

I think that Black men perceive Latinas are more submissive. Black women and Latinas listen up, men always think things are greener on the other side. Black women need to own up to their street-cred though. Men of all races tend to believe that Black women have an attitude problem. A lot of men choose to date outside the race because they just can’t deal with that attitude. If you go back to that prior statement I made about Black women not liking me, it’s because to be honest with you, I’m not backing down. If you tell me something that I don’t agree with, I will not be suckered into a confession. Black people we have to be honest, we are confrontational people, we are in your face. Likewise, so are Latinas, women are women, they are all a little unstable, they all are a little too emotional, and they all want what they want.

I think that Black men think that Latinas are more catering to their men. This is just false. I’ll explain. Why do Latinas serve their men? Because that’s how they were raised. If you meet a Latina who was not raised to serve men, guess what happens? You're not getting a Corona until the Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl. You can meet several Black women who were raised in homes where the boys were catered to and they will do the same thing. What you should do is check and see how she was raised before making a decision about who you want to date.

I’m getting ready to dive into a can of worms as I try to close this out. So do Black men put up with a Latina’s crap before they will a Black woman’s? This is a good point. If you will let a Latina do it to you, but you don’t let Black women do it, chances are, you have some type of issue. I have had to check myself before and be honest with myself, taking that pin out of her hair and her long black hair flowing all over her back while in the reverse cowboy position just isn’t worth it when she cusses me out right after. A lazy woman is a lazy woman is a useless woman. Having your “Latina” laid up in the house all the time, not doing anything, is not doing anything for you. I need to know that if I go to the trunk to get my .45, my Butter Pecan Puerto Rican (big ups to my 'uncle' Snoop, he was a fool for that line) is going to get the switch blade too. We have to work together.

So I put it all on the table, I’m interested to hear your thoughts. Do you think Black Men are obsessed with Latinas? I’d like to hear from Latinas on this one too.

Anyone who is familiar with me knows that I have an absolute love for neckwear. I am always on the lookout for a beautiful necktie to add to my growing collection. Here, I have paired my Ike Behar necktie with a linen suit and striped dress shirt. The khaki color of the suit serves as a neutral, so the shirt and tie combination take center stage. The two patterns work well together because the dominant gold color of the necktie picks up the subtle yellow stripes in the shirt. The brown stripes in the shirt also plays off the khaki color of the suit.


The scale of the two patterns work together beautifully; as neither pattern overpowers the other. The purple and olive geometric print in the tie gives this outfit a certain "pop" that is attractive to the eye. All three elements of the tie, shirt, and suit match and are in balance. The gentleman should always seek a path of bringing stylish elements of his ensemble together; everything works together without losing individuality. Style and balance; that is of course the Makings of a Man.

Gentlemen, trying to find a casual sport shoe for the fall?  Look no further than the Brooks Brothers casual suede sport shoe. This handsome shoe is on clearance for $124.00 from a regularly priced $248.00. Whether paired with crisp denim jeans or freshly pressed chinos; either choice presents a sporty look. Available in chocolate and tan; this suede shoe would be a welcome addition in any gentleman's closet.

There are things in life that tend to irritate me a great deal. For example; the Washington Redskins beating the Dallas Cowboys, the computer system crashing while I'm working on a homework assignment, and especially shirt collars that won't stay in place. No matter how hard I try to adjust my collars; they just can't stay in place.


While reading Men's Vogue, I saw an advertisement for magnetic collar stays. For the uninformed, collar stays are small inserts placed inside the tips of the shirt collar so that they keep their shape. They can be either metal or plastic; metal is usually the better of the two. While helpful, it does not solve the problem of collars that go astray. Enter Wurkin Stiffs Collar Stays. These are magnetic stays that are inserted into the collar and held in place by a smaller circular magnet underneath the shirt.

No more unwanted butterfly collars. The collar stays remain firmly in place and needs no adjustments. You won't even notice that they are there. While the drama of life still stresses me out. However, my collars are neatly in place.

Why This Works

This outfit consists of a windowpane sportcoat, striped dress shirt, and paisley tie. The windowpane is the dominant pattern while the other two patterns are secondary. Patterns should be mixed to enhance the outfit and not overpower each other. The light blue dress shirt catches the blue in both the tie and sportcoat. The burgundy tie also has hints of olive that coincide with the sportcoat.

Hints for the Gentleman

1) One pattern (preferably the suit) should be dominant in a 3-pattern outfit

2) Pay attention to scale (size of pattern); patterns shouldn't visually compete

3) Look for secondary colors to tie an outfit together

The gentleman should take a second to examine the elegant blend of color and pattern; the goal should be understated yet visually striking.

“I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! My entire body is hairless.” – Kim Kardashian.

Class, the professor has left for a couple days. That's right I'm taking a brief trip to the beach. Boy, there are still some nice looking bodies down here for it to be early September. And this Mike's Hard Lemonade is tasting quite right as I type this post. But anywho, let's get back to your lesson.

Let's open with a moment of silence, please. With the above quote from Kim Kardashian, I think every man went to a place called his Picture-in-Picture, also known as the PIP. (The PIP is located in the corner of one’s imagination. Have you ever said something to someone and they dazed off into space as if they were looking at something, but you couldn’t see it? They might stare up and to the right, or down and to the left.)

“It’s sort of like a peach picked fresh from the tree after being watered. There are a few droplets of water on this peach, barely noticeable fuzz, but damn I want to eat it.” – Dr. Q.N. Gardner, Esq.

[Looks around… notices that there are other people in the room.]

The first “peach” I ever saw was more like a kiwi, not a coconut. But it was the first coconut I ever seen so what, I didn’t know any better. They told me the good stuff was on the inside. And that’s pretty much how things went from the first time you saw a girl’s private regions until sometime in high school if you were lucky.

I remember my freshman in college, I decided to skip school and go with some upperclassmen to a local lake. As we hung out in the parking lot, some folks smoked weed and others drank beers, women running around in the sand with bikinis, there happened to be an opportunity for me to be silly. As my friend ran past me, my hand reached for her waist and all I got was the string of her bikini and I pulled…

I caught a quick glimpse and I thought, “Is she a Playboy model?” After all, that was the only place I’d ever seen a woman without hair up until this point. You never really get it the first time, it’s only after a few experiences with the trim, shave or wax that you understand that it’s essential that a woman keep the grass cut. Who knew, that growing up we would say, “If there’s grass on the field it’s time to play,” but as we got older that changed to, “I love hockey!” But women want to know why; they want to know what it is about a woman with no hair that turns me on.

I did a little research and came across what is called, “sexual dimorphism.” Simply put, genders are attracted to traits that distinguish the genders. Men are attracted to large breasts, slim waists. Women are attracted to large muscles, a v-shaped body shape, and strong facial features. That’s a damn good reason to me.

I’ll tell you a secret, that wasn’t an 18-year old freshman male who came up with that. I’ll tell you what we came up with in Freshman Seminar; “becasue it's sexy of course!” When a man pulls off a woman’s panties he doesn’t want to feel like he'll undergo an encounter with Bambi and his mother to get to the goods. And given the option of meeting Bambi or sliding across an ice rink, he’s going to choose the latter. There’s also a hygiene factor, (which does not just apply to women), we’re going to make that area wet, and when that wetness gets caught in such a thicket, it has an odor. Logistically speaking, is it easier to slice through a stick of butter with the wrapper on or off? I guess it depends on how sharp your knife is.

Let me stop, I understand how women feel because they don’t want to look like a 12-year old girl. But I know you’re not a 12 year old girl! That’s why you have to request identification (that is unless you're Robert Kelly or perhaps he asks for ID, who knows). I know in the winter it gets cold and you need an extra blanket to keep you warm. As a man, it’s always winter-time, you don’t see me keeping a blanket of loose women around to keep me warm.

And by all means, if you don’t want to do anything about the region that is your decision and no one should make you change that. Just know that there’s a line of women making appointments with their esthetician this weekend, so technically we don’t have to accept nothing less than perfection. (Let me be honest with you, a man will sleep with you even though you haven’t shaved. “would you sleep with?” and “what do you prefer?” are mutually exclusive questions and do not disclaim information to each other.)

Some minor administrative notes:

* I find landing strips to be confusing. It’s like, why would you come to Miami to hang out in Ft. Lauderdale. If were going to be here, we might as well be here. Whenever I see it, I look at its like a UFO hovering over the White House. I’d be like, “What are you doing here?”

* Bedazzled is cool. No really. What? That’s like the apex of hair removal.

* Shapes and letters are a close second and third.

* The following is non-negotiable, shave/wax your; legs, underarms, mustache, back and any other regions where unsightly hair grows. (You’d be surprised.)

 * If you’re 30 years old and you haven’t seen a nectarine yet, you’ve been having sex with men. I’m so very disappointed. In other news, Dania Ramirez, ladies and gentlemen!

What do you think Makings of a Man massive? Trim, Shave or Wax? Do you have a friend who refuses to do anything with the region and it annoys you? Fellas, be honest, what do you prefer? I know some of you come on here with those self-preservation comments, but keep it real for today.