The Makings of a Man

Since we are all adults here, it is safe to assume we know sex doesn’t always go down in the confines of a boyfriend-girlfriend (or some other combination of genders) relationship. Lots of sex, maybe even most of it, happens between two people who just want to bump uglies and see each other’s orgasm-face. Maybe you know the partner (and I may use that term loosely) well. Maybe you just wanna get in her after meeting in the club. Who knows. We all know that sex has some type of start, some hopefully good pumps in the middle (see what I did there?), and an end. After all is said and done, what happens next?

It’s Clean Up Time
This is always an interesting time. Let's say you…eh hem…finishes before she arrives and now something needs to be done with the kids who got caught in the hat trap or took up residence on some part of her body. No matter how cool a guy is, this process is always a bit awkward to watch. **turns away** How long does she lay there? Does he stand up and turn his back to her? Should he leave the room? Who goes to the bathroom first? Should you turn the lights on or keep them off while you find your underwear? Do you get dressed because you are now embarrassed to see each other’s post-sex bodies, or do you stay naked? Wait, where the hell are the covers? Should one have a pre-moistened towellete on hand? There’s no one right way.

Pillow Talk

Even if one of you is making the late-night creep back to your car or your boo, do you guys talk about what just happened? Check out my snerario

Him: That was fun.

Her: **bitter that she didn’t get her orgasm** Yeah…

Do you just turn over and pretend to fall sleep? Hopefully, you both were put to bed. If not, maybe you talk about preseason football? Praise her for that thing she did or the way he shut it down? Or maybe it was one of those “Let me just lay here and look at the ceiling because I can’t believe that just happened” moments. Don’t act like you haven’t had nights when “that” meant something good, something terrible, or maybe even something pretty pointless.

The Next Day

This is where things can get tricky for men and women. Women may wonder how soon is too soon to send him a text, BBM or IM. “I don’t wanna seem like I’m thirsty.” A man on the other hand may not want her to think he’s feeling her “like that,” but may not want to look like an asshole either. Both of you may play the I-don’t-want-to-be-the-first-to-reach-out game. Unless you did the do with your boo. But what do you even say? Whatever you say, you always try to find the balance between saying too much and not enough. Either one may set off the wrong reaction in him or her. Stage 5 clingers or what I like to call "Keith Sweats" can be born on this day. No bueno.

Like I said, we are all adults. Most of us pride ourselves on “not playing games.” But the truth is, there is some element to the post coital dynamics between folks. At any point, depending on your level of comfort with the person, we may be worried about saving face, protecting our pride, preserving some reputation within our minds and in the minds of others, and possibly not burning a cutty-buddy bridge.

What are some of your dos or don’ts of post-thronxing fun? Have you ever done something that you wish you didn’t? Did you see him or her do something that turned you off…or maybe got the juices flowing again (pun intended)? Has someone done something that caught you off guard (in a good or bad way)? Or is this something you’ve never really thought about before? Either way, share your piece with me.